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25 Days Project

You all know I'm totally into Laura's 25 Days project. We're halfway through it now, and I have to repeat, one more time, that it has made a big difference in the way I'm experiencing this Christmastime.

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I don't care about the unwrapped gifts. I don't care about my messy house. Well, I do, but not so much. I'm singing carols this year and enjoying them. I'm baking cookies and having fun, instead of rushing around making things to give as obligatory gifts and grumbling the whole time. I think a lot of it is that my focus is on helping people this year. Really working on helping, not just a donation here and there.

That's important, too, the money part, but I'm trying to break out of that anonymous cycle and give of my time, meet new people, smile and say hello. What's funny is, I think it's returning to me in some amazing ways.

I don't like to talk about it much, but financially, we are having a hard time. Small business is a rough boat to float in right now, in this economy, and in this market. I'm thankful for my job and I know there are many others who are worse off than we are. But it's scary, and I'm having to watch my husband struggle and rail against it every day. I know he's hurting. He's always been successful, and he just keeps working so hard every day at this with limited results right now. It's not his fault, but I know how hard on himself he is.

However, I have found that I am able to stand up and be strong for him, whereas normal me would probably be panicking, frozen and weeping "What are we going to do?" Now I simply pick myself up and say "I don't care where we live or what happens, as long as I have you and Bean. We'll be just fine. " And mean it. I hug my sweet husband and feel him sag into my arms. He's always been so strong for me. Now I can do it for him, a little.

I've been really praying, much more than I normally do that something would happen. That he'd get some kind of break. Not for me, for him . For his sake. I wasn't sure what exactly I was looking for. Two days ago, hub got a job offer. His reputation is very good in his business, because the offer is from the other side of the country from where we are now. That is some seriously good PR right there. I have co-workers who don't know what I do.

We haven't made a decision one way or another yet. I urged my husband to at least find out more information about the job and see what we thought about it in a few days. The whole idea of moving across the country to a state I've never even visited before is terrifying to me (Hello, remember me? The introvert who is slow to adapt?) but I'm left wondering: is this my answer? I think it might be. An answer, anyway.

Whatever happens, again, I know we'll be fine. If hub decides this job and this move isn't for him, I'm confident something else will come along. Something will happen for the better.

Whether it's simply coincidence that I feel better and more hopeful about my life than I have in a long time or whether there is something a little larger, I have a ten year old girl and her family to thank as my inspiration to send kindness out into the world. Despite their humble attitude of surprise and disbelief that this "little project" has made a difference to so many people.

Bless you, Laura. Merry Christmas. In your honor, today I am donating three blankets and some unworn coats to a friend who works with the homeless.

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Posted in Personal Development Post Date 12/18/2015


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